|
| hmmmmmmmmmm...so much happen this week n last week.. last week..i didnt do my bible devotion AT ALL!!..seriously..nvr do..n there's changes..i was really hay wired adi.. like monitor for dat week..n yea sleeping late due to exams following week.. is like, im making really wrong decision, scolding my frenz for unknown reasons, falling into temptation, all kind of stuff... seriously~~~
then on last thursday, i got news from my church member sayin dat one of the youth is having relapse of luekimia, sucks..happen during my test for CR[cardiac respiratory]..i was totally bump about it..shocked.. n i remember seeing him healthy, laughing with joy.. n now.. i was totally shocked..really shocked.. many things happen in jz ONE WEEK!!.. knowing what happen to him, i quietly prayed for him instantly.. n now im praying for him everyday=) n feel much better this week, bcoz im following my bible devotion.. though im one week back..but s'ok...=)
n then last monday, i realize my mum went out at nite.. n so i ask her where she went?.. she told me dat she went for a funeral service..i was shocked! who past away??.. my told me dat she told me yesterday itself, sunday.. n i denied.. she told me dat one of the uncle from my church past away last nite.. i was totally bumped~ like TOTALLY.. i got this really guilty feeling.. really guilty feeling..bcoz of my bz-ness..for my exams.. really guilty about it
he was a nice uncle, friendly, alwys have this smiling face where n whenever i see him..=).. every morning i arrive to church for sunday school, he n his wife would alwys greet the church member n shake ppl's hand.. dats nice=) but sadly.. he was diagnosed wif cancer.. every sunday, we church member's pray for him although the dr. oledi they have done their very best.. but u noe wert... although he is this kind of situation.. from wat i heard.. he still the same uncle i alwys knew, smiling face, friendly.. dat make me really touched...
dat nite thinking about it, jz remind me of my late grandma who pass away, n yea i cried.. it really hurts when ur love one pass away.. about this uncle.. i can feel how his wife n son felt...
last week, mag chatted wif me, saying about ju liang and uncle phua..n her problems.. i dunno wats wrong me n all sudden.. anger-ness and irritation came to me, mayb due to stress.. i was frustrated.. i dunno y.. actually she was chatting wif me while im studying.. so i told myself to calm down..n im all ears to her.. n slowly dat feeling actually wash away from me.. mayb sumthing about God came across to my mind[although i dun remember wat it was]
but im really glad for MAG.. she alwys come to me n tell her problem.. n im really grateful for dat actually..really grateful.. is been long since sumbody came to me n tell their problem to me.. i love to hear ppl problem, there's where i can show my love n care to them.. i jz love doing it.. i really appreciate alot MAG..thx~!..
n yesterday.. i was totally PISS wif my mum..=.= i felt bad about it though..=P well.. she was complaining to me about my old calculator while im studying..gosh wat a nice time.. n she were piss about it..n she is complaining about dat bloody calculator to me..where i can do anything about.. n my coursemate is asking me Q, where i olde told him the answer...n my mum really burst my patience lvl..*TING* she shooed me away from the comp..so dat she can use the comp's calculator.. oh man..i totally burst n tok back to my mum, stating im trying to study here.. n i scolded my fren n said bye bye to him.. being so angry wif my mum..i decided to eat sumthing, n yipz called me dat he going for picnic..[bla bla bla].. i ask my mum..can i go anot? she said abot CNY CNY CNY..SHOPPING SHOPPING, CLEANING THE HOUSE n stuff to do.. n yes..i burst into anger again..figthing back=.= how stupid of me.. so angry, i decided not to tok to her.. at last she left the comp.. i complain to my coll frenz about it.. n haihz... typical me lah.being the youngest alwys wan to be manja-ed by ppl=P..i felt better..haha! n guess wert..i ask my mum to test me on MS.. n yea back to mum n daughter relationship.. haha!
n today was i 1st day of final exam..hmmmmmmmmmmmmm... MS[musculoskeletal] paper was alright.. im not really satisfied wif my asnwer..though i did my best for it.. n it really sucks one thing about my finals timetable..
although im sitting for 3 papers onli.. the have to put on the 31st, 4th and 5th of Feb.. aRgh!! but i dun mind..got more time to study for my woman health's paper..
n i decide not study today..
i think i really enjoy to bible devotion=) and im starting to love to study adi..[nerrrrddd!]
i actually looking forward for CNY.. bcoz ANG PAU n holiday.. at last i can take a break~ i have been stressing alot.. n pissing around.. bad bad..
im sad... bcoz my couz ran away back to NZ!!.. hate u!! y u nvr sms me b4 leaving!! stupid couz!!!
dats him...=.=
oh! oh!..wan to see my new yr cloth?..i buy a dree^^ <3~
TA-DAA!!
| | |
| hmmm...i have been thinking about this fer the past few weeks..lemme ask ya..
is having a relationship scary??????????????????????????????...
i always think dat wat if a guy came out to me n tell me he likes me n wans to have BGR[boy girl relationship] wif me
i keep wondering wats my respond will be..[well assumed i noe this guy lah] i had relationship previously..long time ago,during high skool yrs.. well all, i repeat all relationship didnt really went well.. one played on me, one i didnt like so broke up..one being insecure, thinking dat he is oso playing on me..
so after dat..i didnt had a relationship after F3.. yea, naive lil girl..ape lagi.. so F4, F5,Coll for 1 and a half yrs adi..all add up 4 yrs takde BF.. which, sumtimes im glad about it..n sumtimes is like a peer pressure.. mcm desperate lah nak BF..
but then..after thinking about it..i wan to have a BF, i wan to have a BF..make me think twice, man~..wat if the same thing happen again..
then i back out, i dun wan to have a relationship..
mayb im scared to have a relationship..paranoid kuah, or having a phobia on relationship........... do i??
recently i got close wif this guy in coll..we are like hugging here n there like couples does, mayb he likes me mayb he doesnt..u noe..then one things struck me..wat if he tell his feelings to me??...thinking and typing this now..makes me..
SCARED, im scared i dunno wat to say, im scared i dunno wat to do!!!... i shouldnt be updating my blog now, im supposed to study for test tml..but this thoughts is like killing me..i need to pour it out..
well..mayb sum of u noe dat i have a crush on a certain person in my church..mayb is not a crush at all..mayb i do like him.. and i got close wif this guy in coll[lets call him X]... now my fear issssssssssssssssssss...
oh..nvm.. dun wan to say lah..mayb next time, if sumbody ask me..
im scared dat, if i go out wif X and i dun like him..i break up wif him.. n end hurting one another..i hate dat!!..i experience it b4.. in my high skool.. i tot i liked my ex, but when im together wif him..i dun feel rite.. n end we broke up 2 days l8r!!can u believe dat! bcoz of me..is my fault anyway..really my fault.. i shouldnt have done dat..i feel stupid now.. now dat i think of it.. idoit ZHENG!!
im scared..to have a relationship mayb.. but i wan to have a relationship..haihzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...wats wrong wif me?
i think i read too much shoujo manga and read too much novels.. like in the fairy tale...love love love love~~..sux!!
i think i do like, really do like this guy in my church... im jz too shy to tok wif him.. i do tok wif him..but.. not much.. n i think i really wan to be wif him.. but im scared of REJECTION from him..[like last time..i tell my feeling to sumone i really like in skool, end up REJECTED, it hurts~i noe he likes me..n i like him..but i think he not ready for relationship]
so..... is relationship scary??or
izit me being paranoid??
i feel like im writing to DEAR THELMA from the star newspaper every sunday..LOL!!!!
n i wan to go mamak.. nak lepak dgn kawan kawan saya dari high skool..
P/S:hey gangs[high skool ani~]..if u see this msg..one day, we lepak at mamak at any s'ri petaling mamaks..k ar??:) miss u all-lah..
| | |
| HAPPY NEW YEAR PPL!!!^.^ so fast 2008..i cant accept it..im still in the december month.. today i went c4 wif my mum, n i see ppl buying CNY things..harlo ppl~..CNY is like far away still.. anyway..as i was saying..see-ing aunties buying cherry blossom flowers.makes me remind me of like last week i went wif my mum n bro to buy sum flowers for CNY...gosh!!.. 2007 really pass like blink of an eye../ twinkle of an eye..wat ever!![i hate idioms!!] i hope '08 will be slower lah..as i know this yr, is gonna be a bz yr fer me>.<..and this yr shows im getting OLDER!!..my couz actually sent me this msg.. "happy new yr!! we get to grow another year older"..ouch~ this yr. he's 18 and im ......dua kosong..[shit!!] anyway..i hate today days!!.. im really upset!!..i went to curl my hair..n it turn out i DUN LIKE IT!!! i really wanna cry..hide in my room..stay away from the presence of humans...for 1 YEAR!! i really hate it!!! like seriously!!! *sob**sob**sob*.. this is my 2nd time curling it..i really wan to kill myself..for doing it again!! KILL ME IF I DO PERMING AGAIN!!.. seriously..JUST KILL ME!! [if i do perming again..] i really wan to make my hair straight again..but wasting money~ my mum kill me before u guys can kill me..[if some ppl who wans to kill me] -DEAD END- | | |
|
|
.::words type more then actions???::.
|
|
|
|
